Respected Sir, (or Soldier if you prefer the
latter prefix), I would like to reach out and convey my heartiest
congratulations on your latest entrepreneurial endeavor – Jab Tak Hain Jaan. It
is indeed an inspiring challenge thrown at us, the boring, non UK living,
middle class working, Sunday movie goers – the chance to understand the
intricate language of Yash Raj love, and garner resilience. The resilience to
find true love like you did, and also bravely trudge through the second half of
your movie.
It is truly amazing to witness your magical
transformation from a Ray Ban wearing, bomb diffusing Army dude, to snow
sweeping, Hinglish speaking, odd jobs man singing on the streets of London while
juggling sea food and impressing difficult Gora Bosses. Your respect for all
professions and love for menial work probably prohibited you from employing
your white collared scientific skills (used to diffuse bombs and protect Indian
citizens in Leh) to apply for employment in London, not involving a shovel or
an apron.
You follow your passion, and sing sufi songs
on train stations, earning just enough to buy LL Bean sweatshirts and
Timberland footwear, leaving the audience to ponder and further analyze their
own CTCs. Sir, to call you versatile would be a shameful understatement.
It is crucial at this point to mention your
beautiful co – star Katrina and give recognition to her stupendous
contributions to your fairy tale. Simply because she proved to be the perfect
princess, that fairy tales cannot do without. We, the audience, love her hair,
envy her overcoats, adore her boots, and don’t mind her speaking intermittently
either. We accept her pretty figure as she requests you to teach her to sing
Punjabi Sufi, congratulating her as she could not have found a better music
professor in the entire city of London. We laud her efforts to improve your
rustic English, to help you wait tables.
With copious amounts of classic Yash Raj direction,
she skips and hops (not in chiffon saris but chiffon dresses) from one end of
the London Bridge to the other falling more and more in love with your
charismatic leather jacket, Ricky Martin humming bad ass. So much so, that she
becomes a total bad ass herself amidst other hot, skinny booty shaking tunnel
girls, gyrates to street dance beats and does perfect boob moves, pelvic
shakes, in an exciting road to discover her true slutty, drunkard self. Such is
the power of your love sir, that it forces us to question the inward,
non-controversial behavior of mature, educated girls and the challenge the
necessity of following basic social decorum.
Alas, how can we not thank the other most
beautiful skinny dipping segment of this panaromic production – Anoushka. She
brings a certain vibrancy to the entire tale of love, through her imposing,
barf inducing chubby bubbly, hot pants wearing, ganji clad talkative yet
lovable self. Once again sir, the love oozing out of your black skin tight
t-shirt body traps this butterfly who would have otherwise continued to enjoy
to dance in between lecherous stares of junior army officers and pick flowers
with random villagers in Leh. You successfully transformed the sex starved,
break up loving “IT” girl into a generation y version of the chiffon sari
wearing all time lovable (and lustful) Indian heroine.
And all this you achieved sir, by just
crashing conspicuously twice on the streets of London, first losing the girl of
your dreams and the second time losing your Indian Army Man memory. Of course at this point,
the sympathetic audience wished they lost their memories via consequences of
“retrograde amnesia” themselves as well. As the symbolic brain sat on the
doctor’s table on screen, you questioned the audience’s brain power – to defy
logic, and create illusions, to discover new boundaries of reason and innovate,
create new ideas and most importantly new medical ailments and cures.
Sir, you have given us what only a few movies
could have achieved in today’s age. Patience – to sit for 3 hours on Sunday
late afternoon through simple no logic content. Grateful – towards the movies
bestowed on us by Yash Raj productions a long time ago and that now thankfully,
the same have stopped now in principal. Empathy – towards oneself and other
audience members of being united in suffering.
Thank you Sir, once again. Jab Tak Hain Jaan
was a truly moving cinematic experience and definitely much more thought
provoking than the ON Undergarments Ad.
