Thank you note to Mr. Adajania - Director, Cocktail

Dear Mr. Adajania,

It is with great indebtedness that I write to you to thank you – for proving to be an instrumental force in my understanding of life and life’s serious issues through your movie – Cocktail.

I am certain that when you titled your project, it was with a rush of several mixed cocktails at a loud club in Mumbai that you concluded the impact of your movie on us – the new age, pub going, party hopping, skimpily clad, shallow young Indians.

The same has been successfully highlighted in the movie when the cinematographer decided to throw around the super hot Padukone at various high tables of the London night club. This delightful characterization of the protagonist, I am sure, has managed to confirm the vivid imaginations of many mothers about their daughters – who can safely conclude now that their daughters go out every Saturday night dressed in pink bras gleefully showing from their almost visible outfits.

Thanks to you, we can all now happily stock up on Wine Bottles instead of milk – simply because our poor hardworking parents, who have worked endlessly to give us a comfortable life, do not have the time to understand our problems – the serious ones, like not having the 99^th pair of Jimmy Choo heels, the Diesel ensembles or crushes on middle aged, obnoxious men.

I must also congratulate you on capturing the other side of the Indian youth – depicted in excruciating detail by Penty. Firstly, the character has been effectively created as a determined and assertive young woman who chooses, against all influences, to wear pants, even in the absence of the overbearing Punjabi mother. This truly differentiates her from Veronica, who beseeched by her non caring parents, decides to become the original rebel by disregarding the importance of lower body clothing.

It is truly amazing and commendable how you have used imagery – that of a knit sweater and gota lined salwar suit, complete with a box of Indian mangoes to describe the innocence of Meera, the poor darling, who has clearly no idea how to travel to a cold country owing to her rural background. However, what is most wonderful is that once in London, she has absolutely no problems in finding employment with a top London based graphic design agency within weeks of setting foot on foreign soil.

This, sir, gives hope to thousands of highly educated young Indians, who return every day without success from their Visa interviews, despite possessing impressive degrees and knowing what to wear when travelling to a cold country.

 The character that touched me the most was that of Gautam, who couldn’t have been portrayed any better than by Chote Nawab – congratulations once again sir, on your perfect selection (so nice of him to pay for the production as well). He perfectly played the role of the irritating, obnoxious, idiotic middle aged man you meet at a club and immediately start thinking of reasons to run to the loo so that you don’t have to see him ever again in your life. You have also through his character successfully promoted many of society’s conventional (superficial) ideas – such as all air hostesses are idiots and can flirt with anyone, even an irritating bearded passenger who confidently juggles between letching and passing lewd comments.  My respect for him grows even more when I see him swagger into his office dressed as Investment Banker – making me and the rest of us question the T Shirt and Jeans wearing IT geek seen walking around the IT Park of India.

The story interwoven around these three characters is truly inspiring. That an aging casanova who does not mind bedding the wild cat at his convenience while choosing the straight faced, braided Indian beauty to marry finally is something that probably every man with oriental roots is obligated to carry out with sincerity.  The example set by Gautam would surely encourage thousands of the under 30 Indian males to go out and get close to women who openly party but allow them to only marry those girls who chose not to venture on to the bar during their nighttime escapades.

Sir, on behalf of the entire Indian youth, I thank you for taking cognizance of our emotions and opinions towards our relationships with friends, parents and lovers. Your explanations throughout your movie have directed us towards obtaining the finer balance between the various aspects of life – on maintaining shallow standards in life and throwing tantrums for not achieving milestones we don’t deserve.

All this Mr. Adajania, I have learnt from your project, without even watching the second half. I sincerely apologize for my lack of ability to comprehend and further appreciate the finer nuances of the gamut of colors you threw upon the 25 inch Inox screen for us to absorb.

After all, it was 11:00 PM on a Tuesday post a 12 hour work day, and even though I spent Rs. 150 for my ticket, I couldn’t go beyond the first half in fear of losing my mind while witnessing your heart rending portrayal of the mindless Indian youth – very well dressed, in their defense.

Yours Sincerely,

A shallow party going 25 year old Indian